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I just read an article about how some psychologist said you can relieve pain or upset by swearing. My first thought was “What an &$#&^%#!” Then I realized, what do you know, he was right, I do feel better!

It made me wonder, can we just skip the whole Obamacare thing and just swear our way to good health? It would save a lot of money if that would work. But then, of course, those stupid, rotten *^%$^$#&##$%& %@!$^& congressmen (whew! Excuse me for that, but it did feel good.) would try to tax swearing. Naturally, just as Congress is trying to make themselves exempt from the healthcare that the rest of the nation would have, they would also be exempt from the tax on swearing. (Which makes me wish that swearing in congress was a legit thing, if only momentarily, like if, Joe Wilson, the “you lie guy” could have said what he was really thinking when he yelled that infamous, yet totally true, statement at Obama on the floor of congress. Okay, okay, I know I’m getting off the track here, but it was a fun thought.) Anyway, the whole swearing tax probably wouldn’t work, it would just create a lot of black market swearing and groups going underground to swear.

Swearing could be the reason that professional athletes don’t have more injuries than they do. If you can at all read lips when you watch them on TV you know they aren’t spewing out nursery rhymes, or if they were they would go like this:

Jack and Jill went up the f$%^#!$ hill,

To fetch a pail of go#%^$&@#$*!;! water.

“Hey, my knee does feel better.”

But then again this swearing to heal could have a totally undesirable effect too. What if the uncle you always hated was laying in a coma waiting to die and in a weak moment you decided to vent at him. The intention of the cussing directed at him could have the undesired effect of bringing him back to life. He’d wake up and smile at you and you’d have to go into the other room and cuss up a storm at yourself to make you feel better.

Or, what if one day you went into an uncontrollable cussing rage with your boss who you had secretly wanted a whole array of bad, evil things to happen to and he suddenly became the healthiest person on earth. And that could only make you want to swear more, making him even healthier.

Here’s another unworkable idea, what if your child was sick and with totally good intentions you started swearing at the little b_ _ _ _ _ _ to make him well. Even if he got well he would resent you for the rest of his life.

After careful examination of this idea this psychologist has of relieving pain and upset by swearing, I think it’s safe to say that he has his head way up his _ _ _! (Again, that felt good.) What’s next? Are the shrinks going to start prescribing drugs for depression, instead of just eating right and being busy and productive… Wait a minute!! OH _ _ _ _!

Steve Yeich is a humor writer with over 25 years of experience. He has written jokes for numerous comedians who have performed on the Las Vegas strip, most notably Jay Leno and Joan Rivers. He has done various forms of script writing including for movies and TV. He has also written over 100 TV and radio commercials. To see more of his articles go to http://darnfunnyonline.com

Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/art-and-entertainment-articles/i-swear-this-could-work-1714214.html

Whatever you may think about finding an easy beginner violin less, you may as well forget it. The violin is difficult to play and requires dedication, perseverance, and commitment. However, it’s not impossible to learn – it just takes practice and lots of it!

What Makes This Instrument So Different from Others?

If you ask someone who is quite competent at playing this instrument, they will probably tell you it’s because you haven’t practiced enough! The truth is that there is a lot more going on than just hitting a string on a guitar. If you have ever listened to someone taking a beginner lesson, you no doubt heard the screech, the whistle, or a sound you can’t even define. While you can push a key on a piano and have the right note, it’s not the same with a violin. It takes significant practice to make a note that sounds at all like music.

Is It Worth It to Learn?

That depends on you! If you want to learn, then you will dedicate a specific amount of time each day to practice. You’ll get excited when the notes start to come and even more so when they are on key! You are the only determining factor on whether it’s worth it to you learn to play the violin.

How to Begin

You’ll need to find the way you learn best. For many people, this is through private instruction. This is also the most expensive form of instruction. Private lessons can run upwards of $100 an hour. If this is simply not an option, then consider an online system. They are relatively inexpensive and you can learn at your own pace. (This doesn’t mean you can practice one a week!) You can review the lessons that you need to and there is always help available. It could be through online support, email, or over the phone. Make sure this is available before you make your purchase. You will need help while learning.

A Final Thought or Two

Yes, learning to play the violin is difficult. You won’t learn overnight. You may not even become proficient in a year. However, if you stick with it and don’t cut corners on your practice or lessons, you will learn. Once you do so, you’ll be very proud of what you have accomplished, as you should be. Don’t let the fact that it’s difficult stop you. Just give it your all!

Finally! You can really learn how to play with a beginner violin lesson. I did and although it wasn’t the easiest thing I have done, I stuck with it! There are some secrets to learning quickly, and I share those with you! Don’t just say “Teach Me to Play Violin” – Get started today!

Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/art-and-entertainment-articles/want-an-easy-beginner-violin-lesson-they-dont-exist-1714588.html

Learning to play the guitar can sometimes be very frustrating. In order to learn how to play guitar you need to be able to play songs that sound good while at the same time help you improve your guitar skills. However, a problem many new guitar learners suffer from is not knowing what the best beginner guitar songs are. How do you know which songs are easy enough for a beginner to learn and play but also not too simple and boring? If you pick a song that is too hard, you can quickly become frustrated as there is no way a beginner can learn how to play the song quickly and easily. The good news is that there are several songs beginners can quickly and easily learn once you have the basic guitar techniques and skills down pat.

Eric Clapton – Sunshine of Your Love

This is possibly the most famous guitar riff in history. Just why is this song a good one for beginners? Because it is played on the minor pentatonic blues scale, and that means not only will you be enjoying and making great music, but you’ll also be studying theory at the same time. This song will especially help you to focus in on and improve the following areas of guitar playing: power chords, string bending and the minor pentatonic scale.

Oasis – Wonderwall

This is yet another very well known and widely popular song that is great for beginners. You’ll love this song if you are a fan of the acoustic guitar and strumming. You can start playing this song once you have mastered a few very simple and easy chords and a lot of nice strumming. This is another great song for beginners because you’ll improve the following areas of guitar playing: strumming skills and chord library.

Ben E. King – Stand by Me

Who doesn’t know this song? Another simple song for beginners because it only requires you to learn a few bar chords, as you will just be using A and E bar chords in a progression. Another good song because you’ll learn how to improve the following guitar playing areas: barre chords, chord progressions, treble and bass line guitar picking.

Learning how to play the guitar by using beginner guitar songs doesn’t have to be difficult. Always remember that learning any musical instrument does take time and practice. Rock stars weren’t born overnight and they had to practice as well to get where they are today. Don’t feel frustrated if you are just starting out. Follow the advice above and try playing these three beginner songs. You’ll find that not only are they great songs but they will also help you to improve your guitar playing skills. Once you’ve mastered these songs you can move onto more songs and keep on improving your guitar playing abilities. If you ever find that a song you are trying to learn is beyond you, just stop, take a break and go back to something a little easier. Great guitar playing skills come from slowly building upon what you know and constantly practicing.

Would you like to know professional secrets and tips to really learn how to play a guitar? Visit the beginner guitar songs website to discover how easy playing the guitar can be.Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/art-and-entertainment-articles/beginner-guitar-songs-discover-3-super-simple-guitar-songs-any-beginner-of-the-guitar-can-play-1715456.html